I like a lot of bad things. One of them is the movie The Matchmaker. Ever hear of it? Probably not. I love it despite all of its flaws of which there are many.
Let's discuss why I love this movie. I love this movie because I am a sucker for romantic comedies (let us use that term very, very loosely) and I am especially a sucker for rom-coms set in Ireland. Here's how it works out mathematically (I got a 67 on my Math Regents, so I'm really good at this stuff):
Stupid romantic plot involving grouchy woman + hot Irish guy in a Aran Islands sweater + MILO O'SHEA + Ireland = my heart, it is mushed.
Do you know the plot of this gem of the silver screen? Janeane Garofalo plays Marcy Tizard. Marcy works for a Boston politician, Denis Leary plays the corrupt campaign manager, David O'Hara (aka Stephen from Braveheart) plays SEXY and Milo O'Shea plays the affable Irish matchmaker with the coolest eyebrows this side of that kid who was in About A Boy. Milo has a creepy room full of pictures of the couples he's married off. Can you guess where this is going already? No? Okay I'll continue.
Marcy has to go to Ireland to find the politician's Irish relatives, because everyone knows we Irish only vote for Irish people (YOU'RE WELCOME BARACK OBAMA) and while there she runs into Sexy McHotstuff and they hate each other but that hate really means love in rom-com language and Milo has a bet with the other matchmaker in town and then you're introduced to a bunch of stupid characters that should offend me with their outrageous portrayals of stupid stereotypes but you know what? I'm too damn busy crying tears of sadness because I start thinking to myself "All I want is a tall, rugged man who can drive a boat and who also knows how to write and who has messy hair that falls ever so sweetly into his eyes. Oh and he sings Van Morrison terribly but AT LEAST HE TRIES." Fuck my life.
Marcy and Sexyface get stuck on one of the Aran Islands and make whoopie. They come back to the mainland and Sexy's ex-wife is there. Milo dies and Marcy cries and Joe lies when he cries and then Marcy goes back to America after playing part in an elaborate hoax on the politician and Denis Leary (probably the best part of the whole movie) to teach them a lesson about taking advantage of the Irish for their own selfish political gain. Then the politician, who had been looking for love in all the wrong places, falls in love with Hottie Fitzfuckme's ex-wife and guess what HER LAST NAME IS KENNEDY SO THEY WIN THE ELECTION!!!!1111 HURRAY! THEY DID IT!!!
Also, Shane MacGowan sings like every song on the soundtrack.
And that's why I love The Matchmaker. You have a corny little romance and you also find out that no matter what Irish village you go to, there will be quirky odd birds that consider you part of the family and bitch about everything with you roughly 20 minutes into your stay.
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Classic movie. I approve.
ReplyDeleteYes, hello? I'd like to call the United States from the SMALLEST FUCKING ROOM IN THE WORLD!
ReplyDeleteyour classification of this as a "bad movie" is troublesome!! it is a GREAT movie!
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ReplyDeleteIt is a bad movie. It's a great movie for us, yes, we love it, but it's a bad movie. I wouldn't host a "Classic Movies" night and play this after The Bridge On The River Kwai, is all I'm saying.
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