Don't get me wrong. Babies are cute. Most babies. Some babies, however, are not. Therefore, stop putting their ugly faces on your FB page. If you're going to do that, make the pictures private, since you are (and trust me on this) the only one to enjoy that mongrel's mug. Please refrain from documenting your fartfaced child's messy eating from every angle, no one cares to see the "Uh-oh I'm shitting in my pants face" 67 times a day, and oh, by the way, your baby is ugly.
Facebook has a vendetta against pictures depicting breast-feeding, and you know what, I think that's okay. I'm not saying breast-feeding is unnatural, I just don't think it has a place on Facebook. At least not on mainstream Facebook. Perhaps Zuckerfuck should look into making a "BabyFacebook" for all those parents out there that insist on flooding the interwebz with pictures of their suckling brats and snot-nosed offspring. It would save me a lot of stress and annoyance, and it would create an atmosphere more welcoming to those parents who have nothing better to do with their lives.
Am I right or am I right to think Facebook needs to stay clear and free of babies? I mean, I know what I Like on FB and I like my Top Five Things I Think About When I'm On The Toilet lists and I like seeing what my friends have become fans of ("Being Awesome" is the latest fad) but I do NOT like seeing babies that looks like they belong in Gremlins 2 (because Gremlins fucking ruled and the sequel sucked. And that's where ugly babies belong. In shitty movies.) I'm going to start a group, "No Babies on Facebook" and I bet I'll get like 73 fans.
And in case you were wondering-
1. Jesus
2. Susan Boyle
3. Pride and Prejudice
4. Geese
5. Bridezillas
Can I also add status the constant stream of status messages about children? I really don't care if your son just got a bath, or if little Madison has the sniffles.
ReplyDeleteRight. Your status is for one thing only, and that's posting cool quotes from movies or TV shows. Or commenting on current events. Or anything I put as my status ever.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, it's not really a matter of cuteness. Actually, the uglier the kid the more amusing it is for me. But really, it's a matter of privacy. Even if you know all of your facebook "friends" personally, one of them is bound to be a pedophile. I should find some statistics on that.
ReplyDeleteAlso, at the risk of sounding like I take facebook very seriously, shouldn't your personal profile display a picture of yourself? Or some sort of representative image, at least? Your baby is not you and you are not your baby, but like half of the pictures that pop up when I log into facebook these days are drooling fat little baby faces.
Would our parents have done this if they had facebook 25 years ago?
Ugly kids are amusing, I'll give you that, but there comes a point that you have to say, "Enough is enough. You stop harassing me with that kid RIGHT NOW."
ReplyDeleteAnd eventually, the maniacal laughter will fade away and then you're just left with an empty feeling inside, knowing that there's no hope for these kids and they'll end up being the ugliest kids in the middle school bunch.
As for the profile picture rules, I agree that babies shouldn't be allowed, becuase it gives the impression that the baby is the one behind the profile, which makes me think there are a LOT of self-centered babies out there. I mean, those babies are listing their interests as, "HANGING OUT WITH THE CUTEST LITTLE GIRL EVER" and who is the girl they're talking about? THEMSELVES. Where do these babies get off?
My mom is on Facebook now, so she'll probably start doing that any minute now.