Water Coolers: The Bane of My Office Existence.

Man, working in an office is HARD. Not necessarily the work, because how hard is it to stare at an Excel spreadsheet for 7 hours out of your day, but the overall culture and environment is hard to get used to. Especially when it comes to water cooler etiquette.

See, I'm from the school of, "If you're getting water, and it's close to empty because you're getting water, you change the bottle." This school must be a Catholic school, because it's getting shut down left and right and only the weird kids go. Apparently, the new school is the one where you stand in front of me, take all the water, and walk out of the fucking kitchen because you'll be damned if you're going to stoop so low as to change a water cooler bottle.

What the hell is this? I mean, I've had to get used to women going to the bathroom and using enough toilet paper to cover my entire neighborhood on Halloween, I've dealt with listening to people leave the bathroom without washing their hands (to those people, I say- I hope you get swine flu, you sick sons-of-bitches). Learning to ignore that receptionist who refuses to acknowledge the "g" at the end of words has been hard, and it's a battle I face every day bravely. Despite these strides, I just can't seem to get my head around not helping your fellow co-workers by lifting a plastic bottle full of water.

Now, some might say the bottle is too heavy for them. Hogwash. Unless you are 7 or 77, you are perfectly capable of picking up that bottle, pouring a little in to make sure you don't make a complete mess and then flipping it over. Stop making such a scene and whining to a male co-worker, "Wah can you change the water cooler hehehehehe I can't do it I'm just a girl. Living in captivity." Be a woman. Lift that stupid bottle. Especially the mothers in this place. You raised KIDS, ladies. You're telling me you can't handle a 5 gallon bottle of water? Really? REALLY?

I think you gain a lot of respect for changing the water bottle. It means you're a woman who doesn't mind a little challenge and who can take care of shit when shit needs to be taken care of. And who cares if you fail and look like Tobias when he's talking up that Funke at the water cooler? At least you TRIED.